| .:screams out:. |
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| 04:22pm 18/08/2005 |
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mood:  damned
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Why did you have to be the wiser. Why did you have to see all that was infront of you. To take it back and leave the mistake that I made to shoot me in the back. Nothing is ever simple anymore. Not when your the sinner. Crusified and cursed to die. To be responsible for the blighted ill-starred pandora's box. Guilty of blasphemy of my soul. Contemptuous loathsome fait. Responsible for all, and well coached in hate. |
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| .:some may say I'm a dreamer:. |
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| 10:54pm 23/07/2005 |
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mood:  determined music: Tool - "Schism"
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On my way to Idaho, I was having a long conversation with my grandmother, and what we discussed worried me. We were talking about the war and the world today.
So many close their eyes in obedience, not ever knowing anything but what they were told. Holding so tight to their beliefs that their hands bleed, clenching to keep their sleeping soul from screaming out. So resistant to an idea or topic that could tear away their fragile little worlds. Today I was re-ignited by strong winds of ignorance. They spread me like a wildfire burning back the underbrush that chokes back life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. My god, can't they see?
Look at it, look at it, your daughters are being slaughtered. Look at it, look at it! Your son's hands, blood-soaked, draped over his lifeless, torn, and tortured corpse. Next to him lies his brother, once separated by Pacific, gruesomely mimicking his kin. Repugnantly they lie, putridly they died. Casually labeled a casualty. Look at it, look at it, silently they speak of horror with their twisted mouths of fear and hate. Distorted silent scream where a smile was, child-like laughter and joy not even a memory now. Darling child don't you see, don't you see what the world could be? What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding?
Granny, is it really true that murder is necessary? Mom, why are we fighting? Why are you sending me to die? Why do you sacrifice yourself? I heard it was for oil. I heard you were dying to help them take your sister's home. I heard the "evil" they feed us is really our cousins. Can't you see? I hear the war drum. In my head the beat blocks my thoughts, my vision fading, clever fox. No! I refuse to sleep! No! I deny your authority! Vision clearing... I dissent, forfeit, and desist. And peacefully I sit, pulling you in, my brothers speaking through me. Can you now hear their weeping? Yelling at you to open your eyes. To see. To see them dying, to see them crying. See your sisters and brothers of this world used to feed a greed.
Useless, hateful, selfish self-professed "redeemer" disguised by lies. I will show your dirty secret. I won't be silenced. And I will stand here until they can see. |
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| ::rubs foot:: |
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| 09:28pm 13/04/2005 |
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mood:  dirty music: Savage Garden - "Tears Of Pearls"
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I think I broke my foot, ::cry whine moan:: I talked to Donovan today on icq and he didn't seem that interested in talking to me. I miss him and he is so stand offish now. Maybe it's cause he is all up Mike's ass (Mike is Siofra's brother). Siofra and I have Sunshine and Latina are living with us. Because Latina got kicked out of her house cause of her relationship with Sunshine. I don't like Sunshine at all any more. It's really good. But, Siofra put her foot down with the whole sex thing and said that she never again wants it in her whole life!!! Ugg! That is awful. If I am going to be with her I am going to be miserable! But, I love her. I could be totally content with her. I wish she didn't have to be so asexual, ugg.... No sex for me. ::pouts:: I think I broke my foot, I need to call my coach and tell him why I haven't been coming to practice.
You are Apple OS X. You are beautiful, stable, and a catgirl. It’s no wonder people love you. It's sometimes a little annoying that so many people stick with the obviously inferior Windows, but since you know you’re better, you don't let it bother you much.
Well I think I am going to go now. Maybe I should draw, but my favorite copic marker doesn't work now ::cry moan whine:: At least I have a cool Gmail account!!! I bet you don't have one >P ^____^
....healingVisions.... |
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| ok some quizzes I had to bite off... |
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| 11:49am 26/03/2005 |
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mood:  lustful music: Lamb - "Wonder?"
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Ok so I really liked these quizzes and I had to do them! School starts on monday ugggg.... I went to San Fran on Wednesday and stayed until Thrusday. It was a lot of fun, but it didn't feel like I had much time there. I got two rainbow rings and a rainbow decal for my karuma!!! ....(car ::coughs::).... Anyway, I had a really romantic and sexy evening the other day, it was nice. I am still not called for though, wish I was, but I guess freedom can be nice. I'm a little confused on what to do with myself though. Ok to the quizzes...
That totally reminds me of back in the day! ^_^
I had to post these the boobs are great in both!!! ^__________^
....healingVisions.... |
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| Show Me Your Pussy |
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| 11:28am 21/03/2005 |
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mood:  rainbow music: Massive Attack - "Day Dreaming"
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Ok so last night it was my friend David's birthday, and afterward Yancey told me you have to hear this song it's like so you. It was Lords of Acid, Show Me Your Pussy. ::blink blink:: It was so right on! That song made me feel better cause I have been so ashamed of my sexuality cause of problems with Siofra. It talks about how the other girl hides her pussy and how the singer thinks her pussy is mean and sick. ^___^ If you haven't heard Lords of Acid before you should download them. They have good sounds and beats! Well that's all for now. I have to go work on a drawing for Lageta.
....healingVisions.... |
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| ::makes a full noise:: |
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| 06:49pm 10/03/2005 |
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mood:  full
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I haven't updated in years, I know. I got a new deviant art account, and when I have images up I will post the url. ^_^ So I just wanted to update cause, you know, I haven't in FOR-EV-ER! Well good and bad news. I am now single, yes Siofra and I are no longer together. We are taking things slow, and maybe we will get back together in the distant future, but as of this moment, I am again a hot and single mamacita. I was crying for like days after, and I am still like not sure what is going to happen in my life now, but that's the way the chocolate chip cookie gets eaten or what ever. I'm doing poorly in classes because of recent events and have lost my 4.0 ::whine moan cry::... But, I found a place to live, I have a car and my dad is going to pay my rent. YAY!!! I'm moving in with two hottie Japanese chicks and a my friend Rachael who is Chinese, but from Malaysia. I'm thinking about changing my major from physics to an art of some sort. Less money, more fulfilling. Well, that's about it.
....healingVisions.... |
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| ::clutches hand:: owe! |
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| 04:38pm 13/01/2005 |
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mood: artistic
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So more oekaki and some other traditionals too taken with a digital camera.
Teaser:
That one is called Eclipsing The Sun. I dont' like how the line art turned out on the Sun Diety >p... Oh well though.
( More here! ) |
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| ::draws for hours:: |
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| 07:53pm 09/01/2005 |
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mood: full music: Pat Benetar - "Painted Desert"
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Wow. I don't know how I feel about livejournal being sold, but eh, what can you do. As long as I can have a free account I'm happy. The reason why I haven't been updating at all during this winter break is because I've been spending a lot of time on OekakiCentral.com. I had an artistic itch to scratch that is still not fully satisfied. I made an icon for this livejournal on oekaki, but I don't know how long I will keep it. I'm still learning how to use the program. Well anyway here are the images:
( clicky click )
Alright, that is the latest one I did at Oekaki. I'm going to use it as an icon.
Well that's it for now. Lageta glad you liked the other art I posted. I wanna see yours so hurry up and scan something.
....healingVisions.... |
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| She-Ra!! |
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| 02:34pm 31/12/2004 |
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mood: full music: Mandalay - "Don't Invent Me"
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 | You scored as Shera. Break out those tacky leotards, the Princess of Power is in the house! Suzanne Somers has nothin' on you, Shera.
Shera | |
58% | Voltron | | 58% | Heman | | 50% | Strawberry Shortcake | | 33% | Thundercats | | 17% | Smurf | | 0% | Transformers | | 0% | </td>
Which 1980's Cartoon Character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| ::draws:: |
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| 08:45pm 28/12/2004 |
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mood:  bored music: 植松伸夫 - "水の巫女エリア"
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So in case any of you don't know, I like to draw. People are usually surprised when I tell them. I guess maybe it's because I never talk about it much, and my life doesn't revolve around it. But, I love to draw and I have been doing it since I was old enough to hold a pencil. Although, only recently have I been learning how to color. I have a tone of new copic markers thanks to my mom, and have been experimenting ever since I got 'em. So I guess I will post a sample of my art. The reason I haven't posted any before is because I don't have a scanner, and these images are really blurry and funky looking cause I took a picture of my drawings with my digital camera, and it isn't a very high quality camera either. I promise that when I do get I scanner I will post my art like mad. ^_^ Alright, I will stop talking about it and just show you.... Here they are:
( 2 artsy fartsies )
In the first image, the text that you can't read above her head says "Dolls don't have souls..." Well there you go...
Saw this icon while browsing icons today and thought it was entertaining: BUSH.
::skips off:: |
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| ^_^ |
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| 04:52pm 23/12/2004 |
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mood:  sore music: Clon
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Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful,
kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your
almost angelic, you find joy in others
happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in
pain. You want to make everyone around you feel
good about themselves and if someone is upset
you can tend to become rather upset as well
which means you are sympathetic and raise
others above yourself. Being as kind and
good-natured as you are people have most likely
hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up
every time. You may look fragile but you are
stronger than most tend to see. Life is
beautiful no matter how you look at it and you
understand that people make mistakes, not
everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in
the bad which is a talent few posses, dont ever
let anyone change you. You truly have a
beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.
.:-|What is your true element?|-:. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla |
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| Imma Cloud! |
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| 04:38pm 14/12/2004 |
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mood: creative music: Nicola Hitchcock - "In My Memory (G & D's Elephant Mem Mix)"
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Being born on the cusp of gemini and cancer, June 21st ^_~, I am neither water nor air, but both. Imma cloud! Water in gas form.
I float and fly
I flow and flutter
I rain in tears and disappear
only to form another
Created by Sunshine
Carried by breeze
Creating Shadow
over all the trees
From meadow to meadow
through this season and that
life bringing and constant
always a wonder to gaze at
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------dreaming of the sky------ |
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| ::snuggles:: |
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| 03:19pm 13/12/2004 |
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mood:  hungry-n-happy music: Mandalay - "Beautiful"
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We went over to Sunshine's the other day and she gave us early Christmas presents! She wanted to hang out cause she is leaving for Venezuela tomorrow. ^_^ We took some pictures, hung out, and shopped! We had a good time. We came back at about 2 in the morning. Today Sunshine and her sorta girlfriend, I guess I'll just call her Latina came over and we gave them their going away gifts. We got them some suntan lotion and this oil to intesify their tans, stuff to do on the plane and candy ^_^... Latina was talking about the trip and it sounded so fun! I wish I could go too! But, I wouldn't want to be away from ♥Siofra♥ for a month. Maybe some other time. I really like having international friends, it's so interesting, and enlightining. Eye candy to follow...
That's me on the left and my baby on the right with the pretty blue eyes, isn't she cute♥ ♥ ♥....! Later I will post pictures of the jacket she's wearing, it has rainbows on the back! ^_^ Well, that's all for now. Maybe I'll post more later.
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------dreaming in color------ |
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| ::smiles:: |
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| 10:25pm 08/12/2004 |
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mood:  tired music: Enya - "Epona"
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So school is out for the semester. ::giggles:: I'm quite happy about it. I managed to pull all A's in my classes, I swore I was going to get a B in my Anthro class. I might still get a B, but I think it will be an A. I will have to find out. Anyway, finals were really easy. I hated my photo-coloring class surprisingly enough. I think even though I like art, I think I don't like art classes, too constraining. I'm waiting for sunshine to come over and have pizza with us. She said 10 mins and that was like 20 mins go. ::laughs:: She is probably talking to Ale. I really wanna eat pizza though. She better hurry. I think I'm going to take pictures of my art with my digital camera and upload the pictures onto my computer so I can share my art with you all. I really wish that I had a scanner, but I think the camera idea will do for now. Sunshine is going to leave for South America with her on-again-off-again girlfriend pretty soon. I'm going to miss her a little, but she should have a blast, unless things with her girl don't work out. If that happens she will only be there for a month so it'll be over soon. I downloaded a new program it's called Adium, it's soo cool. Sunshine came over and I guess the reason why she was late is cause her some-what girlfriend was being suicidal and worried her. Sunshine was upset when she came over. She's over now so I will write later.
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------beauty lost in darkness------ |
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| ::smiles and sighs:: |
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| 07:54am 06/12/2004 |
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mood:  charmed music: Jill Knight - "Carolina"
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I'm getting bored with this layout already, I'm thinking about changing it. I have a final today in the class I think I'm going to get a B in. I spent the whole weekend with ♥Siofra♥, my international friends on friday, and Sunshine throughout the weekend. ♥Siofra♥ is in the shower right now getting ready to go to school. :( I wish we could spend some alone time together. I'm listening to the album Imaginary Line by Jill Knight. ^_^ I like her music. Last night ♥Siofra♥, Red, Sunshine, and I listened to Mandalay for hours and massaged each others heads, can you say heaven? ♥Siofra♥ and I ended up staying the night and came home early this morning. It was really nice. Poor Sunshine though, she's pining after her second girlfriend that is giving her heart the run around. I think things will work out for her though, she gets a lot of attention from women, and if it doesn't work out with this one, I know she will find someone. I think, or should I say hope, that she is going to find a strong and lasting relationship with someone wonderful. ^_^ I'm going to snuggle my girlfriend before she has to leave... ::sighs:: I'm happy...
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------dreams come true everyday------ |
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| 01:08am 05/12/2004 |
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mood:  loving music: Jill Knight - "Thin Pane"
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I went with a bunch of friends to a Brazilian party. I guess a really famous band from Brazil was there. Sunshine and ♥Siofra♥. ♥Siofra♥ didn't want to dance, but I still had fun. Yesterday me and ♥Siofra♥ went to a music concert at the Womyn's Center. A whole room full of lesbians! Oh yeah! We bought the cd of the musician that was there. Her name is Jill Knight. She has a beautiful voice. There was this girl that kept walking by me and ♥Siofra♥ during the music, it was strange. Maybe she thought one of us was cute. ^_^ She was really cute. I love ♥Siofra♥ a lot. She is being really sweet tonight. I'm going to go to bed. If anyone has a chance to download music you should download some of Jill Knight's music. It's really good, I guess she was on the movie Stranger than Fiction. ^_^... Well I'm off to bed now. ^_~ ja ja.....
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------my heart reborn dreams of you------ |
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| 08:16pm 15/11/2004 |
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mood:  contemplative music: Duncan Sheik - "Little Hands"
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^_^ I feel much better after practice and class. I got out of class early today because we took the midterm and the teacher didn't lecture so we got to leave as soon as we were finished. Considering that it's a four hour class and it only took me 45 mins to take the test, I get a bunch time to myself tonight. ^_^ Waterpolo practice wasn't so bad today, but we weren't in too long today because we had a team meeting. Our team is going to states this weekend because they won the championship last weekend. We only have two more days of practice. They are leaving for states on thursday so I don't have to get in. ^_^ I haven't decided if I'm going to do Swimteam in the spring, it depends whether or not I can maintain motivation to exercise on a regular basis. I want to hang out with Sunshine, but I think she's busy. I'm really worried about her. Her girlfriend isn't very nice to her a lot of the time and says really mean things to her. But, I guess she lets her so... I just wish there was something I could do. ::shrugs:: oh well. I really need to get my passport so I can go to Japan, but I don't know when I can do that. I need to do it soon, otherwise I can't go. I don't know why I'm so dissatisfied with my relationship with ♥Siofra♥. I love her, I just need something in my life that I don't have now. Maybe I'm not dissatisfied with us. I don't know, I'm confused. She was suppose to watch me at practice today, but had problems with her program and was late picking me up let alone coming to see me play. That's ok though because Coach let us out late. I'm gunna go find something interesting to do and figure out how to get a scanner so I can put my art online. ^_~ ja ja...
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
------awaken my torn and tired heart------ |
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| 12:32pm 15/11/2004 |
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mood:  annoyed
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I'm sick of waterpolo. I don't want to go. I have to start getting ready and I'm not wanting to, but I have to. I don't think I'm going to do swimteam in the spring. I want to get in shape, but it takes so much time. Well I have to go and get ready. ::sighs:: At least I only have 4 days left.
....healingVisions.... |
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| ::snores:: |
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| 05:29pm 14/11/2004 |
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mood:  sleepy music: Evanescence - "Eternal"
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Man! How much can a person sleep. I got a full 8 hours last night and got up at about 10am, ate breakfast, snuggled with ♥Siofra♥ and then fell back asleep! Now it's like 5:30 and I don't know where the day has gone. I've never slept this much, I feel like a loser. ::makes an "L" shape with my fingers on my forehead:: When I lifeguarded over the summer at the amusement park they would give us fun money for the arcades every pay check and I haven't used any of it so I'm thinkin' we will go play some DDR after ♥Siofra♥ takes a shower. I called and invited Sunshine to hangout too, but she was hanging out with her girlfriend. They have been having problems so it was nice to see them all cuddle-like last night, and that they are spending time together today. Although, another person was over there that has been causing conflict in there relationship, so I worry. One more week of waterpolo and I'm done! I can't wait!
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
----snuggle, snuggle, snuggle---- |
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| "I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest" |
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| 02:28am 14/11/2004 |
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mood:  content
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Oh how I love Shakespear. ^_^ I just got back from Sunshine's house where we watched movies until now. We finished the night off with Much Ado about Nothing. ^_^ I got to snuggle Julia the whole time, it was really nice. Now I'm off to bed, for in this hour there is no trouble on my heart. All is well with the world.
° º o Oslumber of night-dreamingO o º °
----i dream of you, in rhyme, in rhythme---- |
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